Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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