too bad you live with your parents still
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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