Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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