Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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