butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
