Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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