If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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