Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize