if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
