the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
