When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Michael Bay diarrhea
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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