so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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