Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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