Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
