OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
