Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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