oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
