if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
