Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
