what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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