So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
