Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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