can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
