I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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