You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
why do cheetos always look like penises
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
