i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I am mentally ready for anal.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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