If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
