I seem to have left my pride at pride
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
