Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
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