what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
