it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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