At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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