How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
