Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
