Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
