that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
