Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
And then he peed in my hair
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