I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
