yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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