like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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