Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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