I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
