Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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