I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
