Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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