That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
