The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize