Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
