are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
