Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
did i just pee glitter
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
