I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
