It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
