So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
