The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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