there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
