i dont even know how to be here
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
