just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
