we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
