Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
