i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Everclear isn't food dammit
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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