The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
