I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Bring me that man meat
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
