I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize