i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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