Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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