Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
