Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
