You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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