Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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