I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Fuck appropriateness.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
