And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
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Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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